Oh my darling, you are a queen and not a princess


In a world where everything we desire exists at our fingertips, from information, to resources, to material goods and possible relationships, we run the risk of becoming self-centered, impatient and detached.

As a single mother, raising a little girl, I have to be very careful as to what characteristics I exhibit in front of my daughter. I carefully choose which life lessons to highlight for her, I practice vulnerability and always muster up enough courage to show her that we’re learning together. Since she was little, I’ve tried to instill a strong sense of love and open-mindedness into her, by fulfilling the role of guide and a mentor. Establishing a strong value system early on has allowed me to co-pilot the hurdles of self-worth, courage, patience and compassion with my daughter.

Our girls need to know who they are at a young age. By learning to practice self-love and compassion, a strong sense of identity and community develops early on. Eliminating fear and doubt allows our little ones to freely share ideas and positively influence the world around them. When all across social media we find conflicting messages of what’s right and wrong, how to act, what to eat, how to behave and what to think, it is important to bring our awareness back to ourselves and the value system that’s set into place by our parents, grandparents and our mentors.

The world is full of stereotypes and some can be downright harmful to one’s emotional and social development. I hear many moms refer to their daughters as divas or princesses. While both those words are humorous and even cute at times, they imprint certain characteristics into our girls that may affect how they view themselves and the world around them. The term “diva” implies someone who is temperamental and high maintenance. “Princess,” by definition, implies entitlement and a personality that’s tough to please. I thought about it long and hard and decided not to use either term with my daughter. I want her to grow up with a queen mindset, not a princess personality.

A queen is a powerful figure, one who exudes calm confidence, wisdom and a sound mind and heart. She is regarded as a respectable figure, someone who holds power, yet possesses the ability to use that power in a positive way. When the world classifies things as day or night, a queen has the ability to see the dusk and dawn of every situation. A queen always strives to help others, without compromising her own self-worth or that of any other person. She thinks boldly and acts responsibly, inspires rather than controls, and reigns with a dignified mind and a humble spirit. The most important thing to remember is that a queen wears her title proudly, but recognizes that the impact of her decisions weighs heavier than the crown above her head.